So, remember when I used to Blog?

It was recently brought to my attention that I have neglected this blog for a while and that some people actually do read it looking for updates about my life & family and that I'm a big slacker basically! A lot has happened in our lives recently and I'm not going to go into all the changes right now, basically because I don't feel like typing that much this morning, but I will write that update soon I promise!!

This weekend we had out annual (this is our 3rd year) JDRF (Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation) 5k family fun walk. I raised $110 this year! Thank you so much to those who donated to me!! The walk was a blast, as usual! It's through this gorgeous park and you walk along one side of this beautiful creek and then cross it at a bridge and walk back up the other side

so it's just really pretty and always ends up being fun, some really good friends participate in this too (they're the ones that made us start doing it!) and it's just great. After the walk, JDRF provides lunch for everyone that walked and we were sitting there talking and eating and two of my girlfriends were talking about the Race for the Cure that was to take place on Sunday. THey had both pre-registered and paid $30 to do that 5k. Carrie was saying to Corrie, "dude, just admit it, you're not gonna make it!!" Corrie responded with a grin and, "dude, I paid $30 of course I'm gonna make it!!!" The conversation continued and I learned the following facts:

1. The last two years both had registered to go to Race for the cure

2. Neither of them have ever actually attended the Race for the Cure

3. Corrie was going to lay sod the rest of the day and would probably be too tired/sore to actually go to the Race for the Cure this year as well

4. Which would mean that Carrie wouldn't go either

I offered to go in Corries place and that's what ended up happening. Now, when I do the JDRF walk it's on a relatively flat path, and I have the kids, a stroller and a dog so we definitely have to pause several times along the way. The Race for the Cure takes place at Garden of the Gods, here's the route map:

What they don't show/tell you is that this route is going up and down an enormous freakin hill!!! In addition to the added physical strain we also didn't have any dogs or kids to slow us down so we just booked it and walked a lot faster than I've ever done a JDRF walk. It was still fun and we decided by mile 2 that we'd definitely earned a beer for this! We finished up and then went to Ruby Tuesdays which now serves brunch and shared a steak and egg breakfast and I had a champagne cocktail while Carrie had a Ragin' Cajun Spicy Bloody Mary. Good times!!

Then I spent the rest of the day plopped on the couch trying to stretch my legs as much as possible and watching football. Ironically I don't usually ever watch football but since my new co-workers did a fantasy football league and I decided to join in, I was watching the games and specifically my players that are on my team and then Guido and I were texting back and forth about different plays and their effect on my teams overall score. The 49ers crappy game definitely hurt me A LOT in overall points for this week, but I guess we'll see how the season goes. I promise I'll write more about the new job, hubby's new position, the dog, the kids, etc. SOON!!! xoxo

WTF!?!?!?!?

OMG!! I came across this video and am just dumbfounded. Why would someone want this? What would you use it for? And, if you find one, PLEASE send me one!

Girl Talk Thursday

What did you want to be when you grew up?

The short version? A dolphin trainer at Sea World. That's what I thought would be the most awesomest job EVER!! In fact when I was in 3rd-5th grades we lived in California and we had season passes to the Monterey Bay Aquarium and I remember dragging my whole family all the time. I learned that in order to be a dolphin trainer that I needed to get a degree in Marine Biology. I was all gung-ho that it was what I was destined to be.

Of course, in retrospect that was probably an unreasonable hope. First of all, I got a 'D' in biology in highschool, this was caused largely because I moved from a non-technological school to a technology magnet school in march the end of my Sophomore year. I had never used PowerPoint and like 50% of the grade was dependent on this big presentation that had to use powerpoint. Mine didn't work, I got a really bad grade, hence the D in biology.

Of course there were several other factors at work during that time in my life, (high school I mean) and when it came to the college tour out of state schools were made not an option. The money issue was a pretty big thing and my mother is pretty controlling so me going to school somewhere that involved a plain to get to wasn't going to happen. So, instead of going to college at UNC in Greeley I had the brilliance to get knocked up, after my senior prom actually, and instead of heading off to school in the fall of 2001 I was preparing for having a baby, at 17 years old.

Since then I've worked jobs that I thought were very OKAY, I mean, nothing that I would be thrilled to be doing for the rest of my life. A lot of collections, a lot of customer service, some fast food/restaurant experience in there. I did go back to school in 2004 and I finished my bachelor's degree in business administration with an emphasis on Project Management in April of 2009. I have been unemployed since July 2008. So right now I'm a stay at home mom, not exactly loving it anymore but haven't found a job yet. I did have an interview for a position that I find really exciting and really hope to get but for now, I'm waiting and hoping and keeping my fingers crossed!!

Some pictures...with comments....

I'm bored and I have paint on my computer (as does every human being I suppose) and so here's some stuff.....

this picture was taken during a garage sale that we had at my mom's house last year....we had a good time, sold some crap, and I decided to dress up briefly as the halloween fairy...apparently..... So here's the evidence of that.....(also, no alcohol involved in this decisions...)



now, in playing on the paint program, there is an option for you to invert the colors of the picture with the click of a button....I did....this is the result....note the difference in the appearance of the facial expression....one normal and nice...the other...SCARY!!!



this was taken the last time I saw my little brother perform in drag, he goes by the name Chastity and he is totally AWESOME!!!


Here's Gage in all his awesomeness...and I'm serious about that remote!

Oh CRAP!!!

So, on Tuesday my friend Rudy and I were running errands and one of our stops was PetSmart because that's where I get my cat food. While we were there I noticed that they had bacon and cheese flavored beggin' strips on sale and I though, "what the heck! He loves cheese, I bet he'll love the cheese + bacon flavor!" So I picked up a bag. When we got Buster he came with a bag of California naturals food it's actually herring and sweet potato flavored. Now I looked at PetSmart and couldn't find this food there so I assumed it was going to be like a Whole Foods kind of dog food that would be way expensive, knowing that we could probably find him a different kind of dog food that was more in our price range, we decided to change his food. He also has very, very dry skin that leaves him itching a lot so we tried a few different things and came up with a combo that was working pretty well. 1 cup Purina Beneful (much cheaper but still good for his coat!) 1 cup the California Naturals (just until it's gone) 1/4 can of chicken and rice wet food and 1 tablespoon of olive oil (for his coat!).

So, with all this in mind, when we bought his first dog treats I got him all natural treats with wheat, carrots, chicken, cranberries and peas and they actually smell like apples. It's kind of weird but he's been eating them for a few weeks now and likes them. So when I saw the bacon flavored beggin' strips I thought Buster would be thrilled! I brought them home and tried to give him one. He sat down and then I held it in front of his nose, he sniffed it a few times and then just stared at me. Gage took the treat from my hand and kind of half shoved it in Buster's mouth and still he wouldn't take it. I kind of laughed and got out one of his apple scented treats and held that out to him, he took it quickly and went into the living room. This caused me to send out the following text: So...um....our dog....there's something wrong with hiim... I mean I've never even heard of something like this before....he doesn't like bacon!!!!!

I got varied responses ranging from 'WTF!!!' to 'you have a defective dog' and it was all good. When Eric came home he didn't believe me about the bacon so he attempted to give Buster a bacon flavored treat, this time though, Buster must have had a change of heart because after a minutes hesitation he carried the bacon into the living room and laid it on the floor, then after another minute he ate the treat. So at this point, we're thinking, "maybe he's just never had that before?!?!" who knows.

Well, I know you guys have been wondering about the title and where this whole post is going and here's the wonderful piece of wisdom I acquired and am passing on to you, "if your brand new dog lives on a very healthy, fruit/vegetable and lean protein diet and he is hesitant to eat something that is flavored with bacon, it's his way of telling you that it's not that he doesn't LIKE bacon, it's that bacon doesn't necessarily sit well in his stomach"

That's right y'all.....EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA!!!!

I cleaned up so much poop yesterday it's ridiculous because along with this discovery, Buster decided to really break out of his box and show me some new things yesterday.

1) although he will stay in the living room (which has laminate flooring and an area rug that's ours as in, we won't have to pay the landlord if it gets stained) all night long, just fine, but if I leave for 45 minutes to take the kids to school and Buster has diarrhea he will jump the gate and run up the stairs so that he can poop on the carpet in the hallway.

2) apparently he can't go diarrhea outside because he's embarrassed about the farting noises that he makes so he will wait until you're done walking him outside and then jump the gate and run upstairs and poop on the carpet in the hallway.

3) also, did I mention that when Buster poops on the carpet in the hallway that my cats have to retaliate-poop so they can still claim the upstairs hallway as their territory? Well, they do.

I took him outside to poop so many times last night it was ridiculous but then, I went from being frustrated to really feeling bad that he'd eaten the treat at all, I felt almost like I DID THIS TO HIM, much like I imagine a mom feels when they give their child peanut butter only to have to rush them to the hospital because of an allergic reaction. Even though there was no way of knowing that this would happen I just am sad that it did.

We had a long, long talk with the kids this morning about not feeding anything to Buster with out express written consent, ever, for any reason. I'm tucking this one in the archives as a live and learn kind of situation and I have to say that now with Gage sleeping on the couch on one side of me and Buster sleeping in the recliner on the other side of me that I'm pretty happy that it all seems to be out of his system, so to speak, and that we're not too much worse for wear. Buster still seems to love us even though we poisoned his asshole.

Now, who wants an almost full bag of cheese and bacon flavored beggin' strips?

welcome to Sara's world...

So, my modus operandi is basically that I easily make friends with people I work with, go to school with...whatever, but I never have really considered those people like, LIFE LONG friends. It may be because I moved SO much as a kid/teenager but I was never a girl who had 'a whole bunch of girlfriends'. Girls are more obsessive, judgmental, condescending, snarky...

That being said, I'm having issues at this point in time, and I'm not quite sure how to handle them....mixed feelings are very abundant and at this point in my life, I have very VERY little patience for people that are inconsiderate and don't think about what they're saying when they speak...

I guess I'm trying to vent without having a screaming bitch fest because at this point in my life I kind of have adopted a good friends mantra....I hate people.....but I don't hate people...just people that don't think...that's my only alteration..

I'm sad that C (my apparently ex-friend that my brother may or may not be marrying) has caused problems and not appologized for them
I hate what guido is going through
i hate how lonely i am
i'm super glad carrie & I are good
I think that u have to go through some kind of mutual understanding process before u can judge someone & have them respect ur opinion, &/or before u should feel like ur opinion matters
and also, if u ever tell someone who has children that they should not get a small dog because it may choke to death (due to ur lack of housekeeping skills) either, a) have had & raised children and ur talking to someone whose only child died via chocking OR be an amazing pet owner who loves their animals like they are your children (you know, like, you don't put the ones to sleep that annoy you and you don't sell them off it they become inconvenient and buy a puppy insntead.....)

Ironically, I know that the few people that read this blog occassionaly will have NO idea what I'm talking about, and I find that wonderfully comforting!

XOXO

welcome to Crazyland!

Buster Brown

I have been bugging my husband about getting a dog since early January. I hinted that I'd be okay with him getting me one for my birthday. I started obsessively searching craigslist, the humane society website and petfinder.com daily for a dog that I could adopt into our family. I started looking at pugs thinking that they'd be a good fit since they're small and I fell in love with one at a pet store when I was a kid (my brothers too, we nicknamed it 'tags' it was super cute!). Eric was not such a fan of pugs though so I started expanding my search. I took online quizzes that were designed to help me determine what kind of dog would be the best fit for our family. We have 2 cats, we have 3 kids, we have NO yard, we are not runners. I got into a pretty intense discussion with a complete bitch person about whether or not adding a dog to my family was a responsible decision. I got into arguments with my husband about whether or not adding a dog was going to be good for us. He didn't want me to get a little ankle biter dog that he'd have to tolerate, he wanted to find a dog that he could love too! He also didn't want to have to get dressed in cold weather gear at 10:30 at night to walk a dog, if I want a dog, it's my SOLE responsibility. I also had to promise to not EVER bring home a dog while he was at work and say, "surprise!" He definitely needed to meet the dog before any decision was made. All reasonable things and we talked through all the issues at great length. I knew that if I was patient I would eventually find a dog that was perfect for us.

I drug Eric to adoption fairs at PetSmart and made him walk around the humane society with me. I expanded my search to include Shiba Inu's and Akita's and any kind of mutt that had a promising history of good behavior. I probably showed Eric pictures of 10-20 dogs a week and even came close to adopting a Shiba Inu from a couple in Castle Rock. That didn't work out because they said that their dog is a runner that fights to get out of the house and will disappear for two hours at a time, that was not the kind of companion that we wanted to bring into the house. Finally after a search for Akita in Colorado springs on petfinder on March 15th I found Buster Brown. He was listed as an Akita mix and as being good with kids, cats and other dogs. It was also noted on his profile that the only reason the previous family had given him up was due to severe allergies that developed in their two year old son. I have a son who's almost two and during this whole process seemed like he might be the one thing that I couldn't work around. See, my brother has 3 dogs and every time we go over there, they lick Gage and knock him down, so he's not really a fan of dogs. I thought that if I finally found a dog that Gage liked that would be a miracle. I thought it would probably be more of a slow process where Gage got more comfortable over time after we brought our new furry friend home. I found out that Buster was going to be at an adoption fair at PetSmart hosted by Nine Lives Rescue (http://www.colorado9lives.com) on Saturday March 20th. Eric ended up being off on Friday and we had a great day spending time together, playing some games very relaxed.

When Saturday rolled around we went and picked up the kids from my Mom's house at about 10:15 and the adoption fair didn't start until 11 so we went to the AT&T store and I buttered Eric up lovingly purchased a very nice case for Eric's brand new cell phone and then we were on our way over to PetSmart. Now other adoption fairs that I've been to at PetSmart stores have all the dogs spread out in the back of the store so you can kind of go down the line and meet each dog individually which we like, especially when Gage is involved. This was not the case that day. They had moved all the carts out of the little cart area right in the front of the store, put about 15 folding chairs around the edge of the little room and there was a person sitting in each chair with a dog right in front of them. CHAOS! We walked into the store where we could observe the dogs through the glass since trying to wade in there to meet Buster didn't seem like the best idea. Buster was laying down and a border collie was playfully nipping at him, he didn't even flinch. He was just copacetic. We finally walked over to the table and asked to see him, the volunteer had Buster brought over to us so we could meet him away from the other dogs. He sat down quietly and let us pet him all over, he didn't jump, he didn't lick and after a few minutes, Eric was able to put Gage down and he walked over and gave him a hug.

They handed me his personality profile filled in by his previous owner and the information was so beneficial and persuasive.

Is the dog housebroken? yes
Can the dog be trusted in a yard? yes
Can the dog be trusted in the house alone? Yes
Where does the dog sleep? On his bed in the master bedroom
Where does the dog stay when no one is home? free roam
Does the dog tear furniture? No
Tear Carpet? No
dump trash? No
Walk on a leash? Yes
howl? no
Roam? no
Chew? No
Chase cars? No
Ride well in Cars? Yes
Describe this dog: Friendly Obedient, Playful, Easygoing, Quiet, and Affectionate
Any Additional Comments: Great Dog Gets along with everyone, loves hiking, dog parks, fetch and laying around.

I was in love! I asked them what the next step was and they said that we had to fill out an application so I got one form them and then suggested to Eric that we go to lunch. He made a face that basically said, "Crap, we're really thinking about this aren't we. THIS DOG COULD BE OUR DOG!" We opted for cheap chinese for lunch and the conversation was a very in depth discussion of changes in our lives that would/could take place if we added a dog. We discussed scenarios ranging from what would happen if the dog ate their brand new soccer cleats to what would happen if I left an entire meatloaf on the counter and it got eaten. Throughout this conversation I kept reiterating that this was all hypotheical of course because their freakin' Dad wouldn't finally give in and just say YES we weren't certain about getting the dog. I excused myself to go in the bathroom and wipe my tears (melodramatic I know but I really, really wanted a dog) Eric excused himself to go outside and smoke and think things over. I had a really hard time during this because I didn't want to "sell" Eric on the idea, I wanted him to agree on his own, I wanted us all to be happy with the decision and him to not feel pressured.

We went to WalMart to pick up a few things that I'd forgotten when I went grocery shopping and also to price out dog items. I wanted the kids to understand that if the end decision was no that there were many reasons why that might be. I wanted them to understand that one of their stubborn ass fathers our concerns was the additional cost not just of getting the dog but of taking care of him. We priced out dog food, and a dog bed, leashes, collars, treats, toys, kennels, all the things that we would most likely need if we added a canine companion to our family. Then Eric walked over to a different isle talking on his phone. It was his mom. I don't know what she said to him, but when he came back he looked at me and said, "Well, lets go get us a dog!" YEAH!!!!! I started crying, he started crying, the kids were jumping and grinning from ear to ear, there was probably some group hugging in there too. We grabbed the leash, and the two collars we'd picked out and walked quickly to the front of the store, all of us looking like crazy happy people. Gage picked up on the energy and sitting in the cart started giggling excessively and kept asking for hugs, like he didn't know exactly what was going on but we were all happy and therefor should be hugging him!

We checked out and got into the car and I started filling out the application as quickly as possible. When I was almost done one of the kids was like, "mom, what if someone already took him while we were eating?" CRAP. I buckled my seat belt and started driving to PetSmart. "I don't know honey, I guess if that happens then it just wasn't meant to be and we'll just have to keep looking" (I'm pretty sure my knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel trying to remain calm while we made our way back to the pet store. I pulled up right in front and parked and as soon as the car was stopped Miah & Cody hit the pavement racing into the store. Their heads popped right back out and they started screamin, "HE'S STILL HERE!!!!!!!!" YES!!!

They approved our application and we payed the adoption fee only to find out that Buster Brown came from a family that spoiled him rotten so he came with a kennel, his dog bed, his toys, a rain coat (it's really cute!), food, treats, a travel water bowl, grooming brushes, nail clippers and food and water bowls. His foster mom called the previous owners and let them know that Buster was going to be with a family with kids and there were tears all around.

There's more to the story and I'll probably post that later but for now I have a dog to walk and a house to clean.

Welcome to our family Buster Brown. You're a perfect fit!

things that make me happy whilst my head is in yonder sand...

Recently there has been a whole bunch of crap going on in my life. Some new, some same old BS, some new people having issues with same old BS, but the end result has been a whole lot of drama in my life recently. I've gotten frustrated with the people I love, pissed of at people I usually have fun with and straight up hateful towards a lot of people that I would have previously considered good people, at least in so much as, they're someone to go have fun with.

End result is right now, most of my "friends" aren't even speaking to me. A friend that has been gone from my life for a long time is back in it and causing some issues between me and my BESTEST friend. And all in all...I want to just disappear for a while and return when all the dust has settles and hope that things will look better, rather than trying to actually, you know, have the tough conversations and figure out the base of some of the problems, the root if you will. Were words misconstrued? Was meaning misunderstood? Were apologies not give because ? I don't know, but in going along with the "sara likes to hide a hole and ignore everyone until the BS is over" spirit. I decided to make a list of things that I do care about and that do make me happy.

Oh and most likely if none of that makes sense to you, then don't worry about it....I'm most likely not talking about you!

My husband-after all even if he does piss me off sometimes, he makes me the happiest I've ever been during my time on earth and if that doesn't earn him the top spot, I don't know what does! Well...I can think of another reason but I don't need to go too detailed in that area....use your imagination!

My kids-they're awesome! They also alternate their awesomeness with trying to make my head explode, I think they get that from me being as right now some people think I'm awesome and some are like if this girl doesn't quit this shit, then my head is going to explode....totally hereditary...makes you wonder where I got it from....

My brothers-you guys are the shit. You are such good listeners and I <3 you mucho! Jet Ski!

The rest of my whole Fam-Damily-there are so many people that I'm blessed to be related to via blood and marriage that add value to my life and love in my heart. XOXO wherever you are!

My friends-those who I consider friend will have love and loyalty from me as long as it's reciprocated. Nuff said.

My kitties-I mean they love me and they don't talk back, what's not to love?

Chicken Ramen-it's just the best food ever

Johnny Depp-because...damn! Although I saw him on one of those celebrity gossip magazines in a "scandalous relationship" with Angelina Jolie....so I also like the prospects of joining that couple for a threesome...I mean, if you're gonna do it, I think Angelina and Johnny would be like the ultimate duo!

baby giggles

fried chicken

Zombieland

Brad Pitt saying the word "Nazi" in Inglorious Basterds

Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follet (and to a slightly lesser degree, World Without End, the sequel)

Project Runway

Colorado Rapids soccer

the ocean

Saturday nights

chicken fried steak and eggs

board games

trivia

darts

bee-hive soccer (you know, when the kids are really little and they all buzz around it in one big group!?!?)

postsecret.com

kindred spirits

elementary school jokes, i.e. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it! Or: A pig is laying down in the desert. Another pig sees him and asks, "aren't you hot?" and the first pig says, "No, I'm bacon!"

also, dirty jokes

watching hubby and the kids playing with their RC cars together

car shows (even when they make me cry)

hugs, really good bear hugs, not those shitty, wussy, girlie hugs

Sangria or Rum, or Corona, or a good shot, or maybe just booze in general...this probably should have been a little higher on the list...

I guess cigarette would need to be listed right here....since the two kind of go together....

idealism

freedom

laughter

inside jokes

clever bumper stickers

looking at snow from the warmth of my living room and not having to leave the house to go in it...at all....for any reason....otherwise snow can kiss my ass...I hate you

pretty hair...not even mine necessarily, my hair kind of sucks right now since I'm growing out all the dyed crap to get it back to natural....


pink (the color not the singer, although she's not bad)

Sublime (the band AND the feeling!)

baby cheeks....because it's like the most fun thing to pinch EVER!!!

having cable! I miss this...although I do now have 4 channels so it's all good...I just miss bravo, the food network, and ESPN....

Redbox movies

birthday cards with hugely gargantuan fat women on them, they always make me laugh hysterically, this has been this way since high school....I don't know why....

rain

driving fast

the right song coming on the radio at the right time

birthday parties (it's like the one party every year that's just for you, or in my case for me and hubby, what's not to love?!?!)

I'm sure the second I post this there will be like 20 things I'll think of adding to this but I have a tired cranky baby and two boys upstairs that are supposed to be cleaning but it sounds more like some kind of mixed martial arts cage fighting is going on so before my head explodes, I bid you adieu!

I finished!!!

Okay, so I didn't actually finish, I just reached the 50,000 word goal!! The story isn't done, but I reached the goal at 8:12 my time, that's right, I had 3 hours and 48 minutes to spare! GO ME!!!!!

we got jokes here...

So, I've kind of been waiting for Miah and Cody to hit the age where they understand and tell jokes. I love jokes, especially cheesy ones so I guess that's probably the reason for this. The other day in the car Cody goes, "mommy, I know a joke" and he does the "knock knock banana, knock knock banana, knock knock orange, orange you glad I didn't say banana" joke. Now, the amusing part of this is when delivering the punch line, (orange you glad I didn't say banana) he didn't say the word orange. Then he proceeded to tell Jeremiah that the joke worked with anything, like he could do the same thing with apple and pears and it would be just as funny. I chuckled a bit and didn't correct him, I mean, he's just starting out, who am I to crush his comedic dreams?

Jeremiah, feeling inspired by Cody's joke telling, he busts out with this little keeper: How do you make a Kleenex dance?





You put a little BOOGIE in it!! LOL! I laughed out loud. GOOD TIMES!

Cody, not to be out done goes, okay why does an A have an upside down V in it?

Me: Um...not sure, why?

Cody: Because it's POOP!!!

Me: *scratching head, confused* where did you hear that one buddy?

Cody: I made it up, just now!

Me: Um, I think the punch line needs some work....how about why does and A have an upside down V in it?

Cody: Why?

Me: Because it's a VERY awesome letter!

Cody: *blank stare*

Me: or is that kind of stupid?

Cody: no Mom, its VERY stupid!

Well, I guess that settles it then...he's going to be good at dealing with the hecklers if he decides to pursue comedy!

the pursuit of a smaller ass.....

So, one of my favorite foods, discovered as an adult mind you, is Chicken fried steak and country gravy. We never had this in my house because of my fathers aboration of things that are fried, and things that are swimming in gravy (the man knows how ruin the experience of a Carls Junior western bacon cheeseburger too so don't take him with you if you're wanting to clog your arteries, I'm just sayin!) I wish that I hadn't ordered that first chicken fried steak skillet at Village iInn...I can't say that convincingly even to myself, that stuff is just SO FREAKIN' GOOD!

One of the things I try to get occasionally is the chicken fried steak meal that's on special on wednesdays at KFC, for just $3.99 you get chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes, coleslaw and a biscuit. Pretty good deal right? Well, knowing that by definition chicken FRIED steak is going to be bad (in the bestest kind of way) I decided that in order to "reward" myself with this wonderful, wonderful meal, I would walk there and back with Gage (well, pushing Gage) that way, I would be doing something good to offset the bad. Good thinking right? According to Mapquest, KFC is 1.13 miles away from my house. We set out walking, it went pretty well as far as Gage being good and sitting quietly and you know, we didn't get hit by a car or anything. Other than that though the walk proved to me that I am so horrifyingly out of shape I kinda grossed myself out and pissed myself off...at myself.

You see, last year about this time I was loving being at home with my son, I was going out wearing him in his little sling, meeting people randomly, I was going and doing, and loving life and I was also losing weight. So much so that by my birthday in february I was able to buy and wear a pair of size 9 pants...that's right, single-digit pants. Things were good. Then things were not so good. A lot of crap happened this year and I shut down. I started just kind of drifting from day to day and not really enjoying the good stuff and just kind of wading through the bad. That's probably why my blogging dropped off so much this year. I'm working on getting my head back in the game so to speak and with that comes the anger and frustration with myself for letting that kind of wallowing reverse all the good things I had done as far as getting myself in better physical shape. Needless to say, I unfortunately gained back all the weight I had lost +10 lbs. This is horribly depressing.

By the time I got to KFC (and then again on the way home) I was red-faced, sweaty, and out of breath. You'd have thought that I'd just run a race for my life. I was pathetic and sad and I had a pain in my chest, and I can't breath....oh wait that last part was from a George Lopez routine...but it was almost that bad. At that point I wanted to cry. I got over that and went and got my chicken friend steak meal anyways because damn it, I walked there, I looked like a gross sweaty pig and I earned it! Gage played with his hot dog meal, only eating the teddy grams and I ate my food, sharing half the biscuit and half the coleslaw with Gage.

As I huffed my way into the condo complex where I live I was thinking about how good it was that I at least got off the couch and did something physical that even though it was difficult, will be a small step in the right direction because I definitely need to get this ball rolling again. Not so much because I want to be skinnier, but because of the process I went through last year, I gained so much confidence in myself and my abilities and it strengthened my relationship with my husband and my children and some of my friends.

Here's to the long and difficult journey ahead of me to hopefully see single digit numbers on the inside of my pants!!

Stats:

Chicken fried steak w/white peppered gravy 390 calories
Mashed potatoes 100 calories
Coleslaw 180 calories
Biscuit 180 calories
Honey sauce ?calories (www.kfc.com didn't have it listed)
Total Calories for the meal 850 calories
- 180 (for half the coleslaw and biscuit gage ate)
770 calories I consumed

2.26 mile walk round trip
187 calories burned

770 eaten - 187 burned = 583 calories for lunch...not too bad, especially since breakfast was a 270 calorie cup-o-noodles.

Notes to self for next time getting this meal:

1)biscuit gets the axe...sorry biscuit, you're just not 180 calories + honey calories worth of good

2) sub 30 calorie green beans for 180 calorie coleslaw

These two cuts alone bring the meal back down to a reasonable 520 calorie meal while still being delicious.

And a final note...I just realized that the honey you get at KFC is not just honey....I know...I'll give you a moment to gasp! I was shocked myself, it's okay!






The ingredients to the Colonels Honey Sauce are as follows: High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar, Honey, Corn Syrup, Natural Flavors, Carmel Coloring.....

Yep...so that killed the delicious honey biscuit goodness....thanks a lot KFC!

My little bug is growing up...

Sometimes it's the little things that can make my day better. For a while I've been getting Gage the little toddler meals for lunch, usually because I don't really cook anything for myself for lunch, I just make ramen or something like that, not really healthy toddler lunch fare. Now, Gage eating these little meals either ends up with me sitting there forever to feed it to him bite by bite OR me giving him a spoon and letting him make a disaster of his face, his clothes, the high chair, etc.

The clean-up of which would typically require a bath, a wordrobe change for him and a good wipe down for me, and then me swearing on waiting on the whole eating with a spoon thing until he's older.

Today however, it finally paid off. Finally, all the days of disgusting, slimey baby culminated in this wonderful video! NO MESS!






Angels were singing a light shined on him from above....it was GLORIOUS! Okay, maybe I'm SLIGHTLY exagerating....but man, it was a good moment to see that he can eat, with a spoon and the mess was almost non-existent. WONDERFUL! IMMD!

The birds and the bees...and my butt

So I don't know if you have these commercials where you live, but we have ones where a bunch of different kids are looking out of the TV telling me as a parent to talk to my kids about sex. Now, being as I got pregnant very young and that my "sex education" came from books (one that my mom gave me when I was ten that explained mechanically what would happen combined with harlequin romance novels I started reading around twelve that glamorized what it would be like physically) I knew that I wanted to have open honest communication with my kids about sex as soon as they needed/wanted to know about it.

Now Jeremiah was sitting in the living room a week or so ago and that commercial came on the TV again. Jeremiah turned and looked at me and goes, "yeah mom, lets talk about sex!!"

DAMN!

"uh, okay, what do you want to know?" I wasn't sure what if anything he already knew. "I don't know!" he giggled and then kind of went back to what he was doing. Bullet Dodged! Right?

Okay, I think when the kids were younger we had a conversation about eggs and sperm. I'm fairly certain we hadn't discussed how the egg and sperm actually meet up and party together. I decided that I wanted to have a more in depth conversation with them but wanted some back-up. After some hard core googling I came across this book http://www.robieharris.com/work_book-amazing.html and decided that it was going to be an excellent tool to help me talk with the kids. So I went and bought the book, we looked at the pictures of the boys private parts and girls private parts both internal and external and we looked at the differences. We talked about puberty and the path of the egg and the path of the sperm.

Jeremiah freaked out a bit when he saw a cartoon drawing of the male ejaculation but settled a bit when I explained again, that nothing like that could or would happen until he went through puberty. He seemed to find it comforting to start naming all the men he knew that, based on that information, could have an ejaculation. Daddy? yep. Grandpa? yep. Pop-Pop? yep. him too. I tried to not actually think about the fact that my father and father-in-law could also ejaculate...really...but I kept a straight face and answered his inquiries with the appropriate level of seriousness. After that we got to chapter 9. What is sex?

I like this chapter because it started out with encouraging kids to look at their birth certificates and they'll see the word sex right there. I showed them my driver's license and where it says sex on there. They thought it was interesting that sex had more than one meaning and even made me laugh when they saw the cartoon of a couple engaged in sex they were like oh, that's sex? you and daddy do that!

(um, remind me to analyze that later)

Granted, it was just two people no clothes showing, Dad facing down on mom with a blanket covering them up to their shoulders so it wasn't really graphic or anything at all...trust me, I'm not trying to traumatize them or anything!

Now, that is about halfway through the book and we decided to stop there for the day. The rest of the book has chapters on love, different kinds of families, how a baby grows from an egg into a baby and even shows birth and c-sections. (the whole book is drawn by a cartoonist that makes a good mix of realistic but not freaky like a photo might be to a kid).

Later in the evening, after dinner, Jeremiah is flipping through the rest of the book, I'm reading the catcher in the rye and Cody is reading to Gage. We're all kind of hanging out, winding down for the kids bedtime and then it happens. Jeremiah walks over, holding the book open to the page that illustrates how the baby is born and he climbs up on the chair next to me and points at my crotch.

Miah: Is that where Gage came out?
Me: yeah
Miah: (looking thoughtful for a minute)
Me: why? Where did you think he came out?
Miah: (points at my butt)
Me: you thought I pooped him out!?
Miah: (just giggles and giggles)
Me: Do you understand better now?
Miah: yeah

So, apparently my work is done here for the moment...my son at least knows he didn't come into life from his mother's Bowell's

A new adventure

So...I have thought about writing a book for a long time. I'm certain that more people think about this than you'd expect, you're probably one of them if you think about it. I recently discovered this site www.nanowrimo.org which stands for national novel writing month. This month, incidentally is november. Basically, when you sign up, you are going to work your butt off to produce a 50,000 word story no later than midnight November 30th. The emphasis is to push yourself to crank out a story in 30 days and to quote from the guidelines, "the emphasis is on quantity here, not quality" I am looking forward to tackling this project this month and hope to have finally gotten a whole novel down on paper.

That being said, those of you that will be spending Thanksgiving with me, I'll do my very best to be able to put the laptop down for at least a few hours that day, and if I can't, please forgive me!

I thought Mondays were supposed to be crappy.....

Okay, so I know, it's early in the day but really not off to a good start at all. I woke up, not wanting to be anything close to coherent at that point since Eric and I stayed up way too late last night. I was eating my breakfast and since it had been pretty cold recently with a lot of mornings of frozen windows so I figured, hey, why not let Jeremiah go start the car? He's already done eating and it's my father in laws car which is an automatic so I figured Jeremiah could handle it. He looks very enthusiastic at the idea and grabs the keys and runs outside. Two minutes later he comes back in the house, closing the door behind him going, "Oh man....I locked the keys in the car!" I was so not happy. I went outside right away on confirmed that we were in fact locked out with the car running. I called hubby 2x and sent an angry text with no response. I figured I'd just have to take care of it then, so I called locksmiths, 8 to be exact, before finally one answered and said they can send someone right over. After what seemed like forever the guys shows up, unlocks the car and charges me $125...OMG....I couldn't believe how expensive it was. As I was getting my receipt hubby finally calls me back...

Him: "What's up"
Me: "Jeremiah locked the keys in the car and so I just paid a locksmith $125 to open it"
him: "you paid HOW MUCH!?!?!"
Me: "you heard me...you didn't answer your phone and so I was kind of panicking and so I just called until I got someone to take care of it"
Him: "you do realize my Dad has another set of keys for the car and he could have just come over and unlocked it, right?"

and then my head exploded. the end.

I love having kids do homework!

Okay, so I've been a mom with kids in elementary school for just over two years now, and there has been some interesting moments along the way so far. Like the time a kid got suspended for hitting Miah over the head with a road cone. Or when Dink got suspended for bringing a pocket knife to show off to the other kindergardeners. And lets not forget when Miah's new den leader realized that his son was the one that stabbed Miah with a pencil their kindergarden year. Yes, a lot of interesting times along the way, and without a doubt more to come.

Now, Dink is at the point in his math education where he's doing a lot of drawing items in certain quantities so that he's mentally equating numbers with visual pictures. So, last night, as I was glancing over his homework, I see this....




While keeping a completely straight face (SERIOUSLY) I handed it back to him and told him to show Daddy his awesome carrots and then head on up to bed. He did and Eric and I both held it together until he went upstairs....then the appropriate level of immature parental-our-kid-is-going-to-be-the-penis-drawing-kid to his first grade teacher kind of way we fell on the floor laughing! Oh yes, there are good parts of being a parent!

starting a new...

Reading back through some archives, I realize that in some ways I was kind of in the same place that I am now, I'm still home with the baby, we still did JDRF, still the mom of three wonderful boys. In some ways though, I'm much different. My confidence that I would surely find a job when I went looking has been replaced with a strong fear that the whole time I juggled being a mom with a full time job and being a full time student is going to climax with me becoming a shift leader at the local wendy's. My faith in my relationships with friends and family have been rattled and some I'm not even sure are repairable. All in all, this last year has been one of the best and worst for my little family and in the end I think we'll be fine. I'm just trying to kind of get re-oriented and then work on getting back on track mentally.

That all being said, being home has given me excessive amounts of time on my hands. I've started looking for small things I can do while I'm home that I wouldn't usually have time for. Things like going to the library and putting all the books on Jeremiah's book fair wish list on hold so that when they get back to the library I can pick them up and we can still read them (with out the hefty price tag) or baking muffins once a week (the current family favorite is almond poppyseed). I've also joined a web "cooking club" of bloggers. Once a month a baking challenge and a cooking challenge are shown and then I'm supposed to make my own version, write about it on my blog on a certain day and post pictures (my first challenge is a vietnamese soup and I'll be posting my results on Oct 14 in case you're interested) and then on October 1st I'll get my first baking challenge and that'll be posted sometime later. All in all an interesting way to try something new, meet some new people, and have a shared experience. I think that's what I'm missing out on most is shared experiences with people. I mean, the people you work with have things in common even if it's just in regards to he job at hand. I just have to keep working to find ways to incorporate that into my life more.

Anyways, I'm doing well, we're doing well, things are going well.

um....how did September get here??

Well, it's apparent that things have been going on, at least I've been to busy (Or lazy, whatever!) to post on here. Lets see, graduation went off without a hitch, that's right! I now have a bachelor's degree! YEAH! Still no job, not so excited about that, but ya know, it's something I'm working on. We moved, not far from our old house, definitely not as far as I was hoping as I saw sandy beaches in my future, but alas, it was not meant to be. Gage turned one.

junes here!

Well, what can I say, it's monday, the begining of another week. We broke in the pool yesterday, twice! We had too much fun! The kids wanted to go swimming on Saturday and since we had our first night out in a long time on Friday night, we were still recovering that morning and thought we'd go in the afternoon. We met our buddy chess for lunch and then set off to target to purchase new swim suits. Their old ones were like 2 or 3 years old so we thought that it was about time plus it was Gage's first time swimming ever so we thought we'd get him a floatie too! $150 later (ugh!) we made our way back home just in time for the thunder storms to start. Okay, so, swimming wasn't going to happen. We played some board games and just kind of hung around the house. Then just as we were finishing dinner, Mr. Nick showed up. Apparently when we were texting back and forth about my upcoming graduation there was a little bit of confusion. He said that he wouldn't be able to make it because he was working on Friday and I responded with, well, we're having a bbq on saturday so maybe you can come to that. Well, he thought I meant THIS saturday! So he showed up, expecting us to be having a big celebratory bbq only to find us all being lazy bums reading books and playing on the computer. We hung out and watched some movies, it was good times! Then yesterday as soon as we got up, we hit the pool. It was a beautiful day and the water was perfect. We had to use a trash bag and duct tape to wrap jeremiah's cast in the hopes that it would stay dry. I hope that it won't be disgusting and moldy by the time it's ready to come off, but I don't know that its going to work out like that. I just hope we can figure out how to keep it dry so he doesn't have to stay out of the pool until the end of june when the cast comes off, but I guess we shall see on that one. Happy june!

Today I'm suffering a feeling of fear and self loathing. I have been trying to find a job and at the same time I've been feeling like I should wait until we move and get situated into whatever our new living arrangements are going to be. I've been feeling like I'm failing my kids and my husband by being so negative recently and so down about everything that's going on. Most of all I've been feeling desperately lonely but unsure how to reach out, or who to reach out to. I've also been feeling a personality change in myself, my anxiety is back bigger than before and I fell almost switched off. Every day is getting harder and harder to try and figure out and it's so dumb because I know it's all in my head. It's all just me worrying and obsessing and mentaly beating myself up for everything...that is the part that's the worst. I mean, how do you escape from that? The power of positive thinking had me living the best most carefree life I'd ever experienced last fall and through a series of events I feel like whatever happened in my brain that had me just happy about life and the possibilities and my children just stopped. Now I'm just a train wreck. This is terrifying because I don't know how to move on. How do I get back my zest for life and my outgoing fun-loving personality? I have no idea. I just know that I need to stop this pain, this anxiety. I need to laugh more and play more. I also need to figure out what we're going to do, where we're going to live and I need to stop being so hard on myself.