Monday, November 24, 2008

kung foo panda and christmas presents on a budget!

Good morning!'s actually way earlier than I would ever choose to be up but daddy didn't get up with Gage for the 5 am bottle like he usually does so I woke up and went to the bathroom and Daddy got the bottle...end result, daddy and gage are sleeping peacefully and mommy is wide awake since 5:30 this morning....I guess that's the way things go sometimes. We've been super busy (like everyone else on the planet it seems) and have decided to just, as a family, take all of thanksgiving week off. That's right, we're rebels, 9 days off instead of 7..go us! We've been helping my in-laws clean up the house and get it ready for my husbands great grandparents coming to live with them this summer and every summer afterwards for the foreseeeable future. I've also been working on my school, I'm taking advanced psychology right now and then I finish up my degree in the march/april term with senior project and web based marketing....omg...the light at the end of the tunnel is SO BIG RIGHT NOW....I'm just blown away that I made it...I mean, well, not technically yet...but it's so freakin' close, I can TASTE it.

I guess it's because when I found out I was pregnant at 17 with Jeremiah, I was told that this day would never come. I would never be able to possibly finish college and earn a degree if I had kids so young. WELL BOO-YA-KA!!!! ya know? I guess it's just a quiet nice morning in my are still asleep after tummy aches this weekend and a late night last night...hubby is still asleep in light of the not having to work this week and we have a busy day planned of more visiting prison, going to the bank, and organizing homes (with a road trip to the "denver international airport" thrown in the mix).

So....sorry ADD moment here...Kung Foo Panda is totally funny! Go Jack Black! I can't say I understood or found the humor in your earlier stuff but I'm totally diggin' this!

I have to say that it was highly amusing yesterday cleaning out the basement in my in-laws house because I lived there only 5 years ago when Cody was born. So there are things there from Jeremiah's first Christmas and his 6 year old brain just didn't remember that! I showed him the ball I gave him on his very first Christmas and his response was, that's not mine, it's grandmas!

I had to laugh because I think I figured out the secret to Christmas on a budget. Don't get rid of your old stuff, just box it up...then give it to them again when they're older for Christmas, and they think you're AWESOME!! I told Jeremiah he could give his ball, from when he was not even 1 yet to Gage for Christmas and he thought that I was the COOLEST mommy EVER!! Oh well....I have school stuff to do, but this is going to be a great holiday season...hugs to you and yours!!!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

You know how when you get to thinking....

So I haven't posted in a while....I've been busy....SORRY!!

More on that later...I finally got on here and caught up on some of the blogs that I usually follow and one of them got this response (here it is!)

I really enjoyed reading about this. I’m currently 24 and I am both mom AND coach to both my older sons and the rest of their buddies on the soccer team. I never intended to coach but the first team my oldest was on was run by a coach that signed up ONLY to coach HIS son. His son, unfortunately, had NO desire to even play soccer! So instead of teaching his son some long term concepts (teamwork, commitment, trying new things, etc.) the coach decided that he should just quit! I was shocked! Especially when my other son was on a different team in a different age group and his coach just volunteered because he loved coaching.

Then when the coach told all of us that he was quitting he asked for someone to take over and the rest of the parents that were there for that “meeting” (after practice random announcement) all had NO CLUE about soccer…like didn’t even know the rules!

Ok, so I played soccer in high school, haven’t touched a ball in YEARS but I want this to be a good experience because it’s their (my sons’) first time ever playing. So I volunteered. Subsequent seasons lead me to have my younger son play “up” (older age group) so I could coach them both for fairness purposes, and has lead me to really have to figure out some boundaries. I mean, when I’m coaching and one of my sons is hurt and wants “mommy” I have to be “coach” to 8 other boys. How do I balance that?

After my second season of coaching, other boys parents started requesting me as their sons coach. Then I found out I was pregnant with my 3rd son. So I had to tell the kids at their soccer banquet last fall that I couldn’t coach them anymore because all spring (first season of two this year) that I would be hugely pregnant and therefore unable to RUN!) and nobody looked like they even cared. :-(

Of course I had parents “watching me” but I also felt kind of judged in a negative way like I wasn’t doing a good job. Well, it turned out that the next season, one of the parents who was at that meeting still plays competitive soccer and he volunteered to coach! And he was willing to coach both my kids on the same team! (allowing my younger son to “play up” is at the discretion of the coach) so the kids I was coaching were still mostly together and the parents that I felt were judging me were now sitting on the sidelines with me and we watched. We did talk about things and I kind of realized some things I COULD do better as a coach!

Well, I wanted to coach this fall season but I was laid off, a full time student and juggling a 3 month old baby along with everything else. I signed the kids up and hoped for the best. Well, the same parent signed up to coach and agreed to take all the same kids. He asked for a “team mother” and I signed up for that job (armed with my new knowlegde of course!) and it was the best soccer season so far! I helped coach when he needed it, I gave him constructive feedback, I found the trophies for the team and planned the end of season party and EVERY single parent was very, very, VERY!!!! satisfied! I did good!

It was such a different feeling from the first season when I coached to now….I guess you just got me to thinking…sorry this was SO LONG! Sometimes my brain spirals off into…..other things…..just a bit…..


Good post!!

So that was it....just thoughts, just puttin' it out there I guess....

Wednesday, November 5, 2008


WOW! OBAMA WON! I'm so excited about being an American again! Look at us GO! A commedian I adore named Eddie Izzard has a routine in which he talks about how in America there is "a feeling of IT CAN BE DONE!" I see now what the rest of the world sees when they look at this country. We're all trying to spread the love, help eachother out. This election brought people together all over the country and all over the world and Obama's message of love and spreading the wealth really came home to me in the things I want to accomplish with my life. It's interesting...the conversations that I had with my siblings, parents, my friends...most of whom before this election believed very far right, conservative things that just aren't a good way of thinking. Anything as an extreme is bad.

Take it from someone who has been there. I've taken all different things to an extreme via addiction. This feels good, so I should do it every day, right?! WRONG! People can be addicted to all kinds of things from sex to caffeine to cigarettes, to alcohol to racing cars. And not all these things are bad when practiced or participated in on a moderate basis. I've quit cocain one of the most addictive substances known to man. It took 2 stints in rehab and a lot of people not giving up on me to get here but here I am. Here, taking care of my family, helping my friends and family as much as I can. Here where I have a home and will have a bachelor's degree (the degree I was told I'd never earn because I was making the mistake of becoming a mother at a young age). Here where there is less anger at home, more hope, faith, trust, honesty and love.

I think that people start out with the american dream and they get as far as they can with the tools they have then you die. What you leave behind effects all the people that are or were or had been close to you during your lifetime. I think that's why there are so many messages out there about "living every day like it's your last" and "make every day count" because you really don't know what the people around you are taking in, what they're needing, thinking, feeling, wanting, hoping for or expecting from you. My teacher in my current class talks about how when you meet a new person they are carrying around an invisible "suitcase" with them.

Every person has personal motivations, intentions, stereotypes, personality traits, beliefs, hopes, etc. that you just can't account for when you first meet them. Why do you think internet dating has been so popular, it's a way for you to make yourself vulnerable to another person without having them look you up and down and walk away. It's the 'Shallow Hal' concept as in if we as a society weren't so damn judgemental of other people's behavior then a lot more people would be a lot happier.

Don't you dare tell someone they CAN'T because you know what, they might actually believe you. People who are lonely will cling to any communication and over analyze it because they have nothing better to do with their time. Then by you telling them they can't accomplish somethig you're simply feeding into their excessive amounts of existing self-loathing and self-doubt. Once a person starts hearing negative things it can really compound on itself and just make a person feel worthless even if they've accomplished 100 positive things since then. It only feels like an accomplishment once a person has realized that they've proven themselves to themself...if that makes any sense.

For me, I've done a lot of really cool things in the first part of my life so far, but for a long time I still felt like I wasn't good enough. Like the people were all looking at me thinking, "what IS she doing?" "if she hadn't thrown away her life by becoming a mom at seventeen she would be so much better off" when that wasn't really the reality at all. I've tried recently talking to people wherever I go so I can expand my horizons. I talked to immigrants down at the department of human services that legally came to this country and they HATE it here. They hate it because they don't understand concepts like laws and taxes because those things DON'T EXIST in the country they came from.

I guess I just know there are a lot of rumors around about how immigrants can get all kinds of free stuff and we should all be scared of taxes because they support immigration, well, ya know what, that's how this country was IMMIGRANTS! Why are we saying that now that we're here the doors should be closed? there's room in this great country for all those who love it as much as I do, so why are we wanting them to go away?!? EXPLAIN IT TO ME, I JUST DON'T GET IT!!

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