Monday, November 30, 2009

I finished!!!

Okay, so I didn't actually finish, I just reached the 50,000 word goal!! The story isn't done, but I reached the goal at 8:12 my time, that's right, I had 3 hours and 48 minutes to spare! GO ME!!!!!

Monday, November 16, 2009

we got jokes here...

So, I've kind of been waiting for Miah and Cody to hit the age where they understand and tell jokes. I love jokes, especially cheesy ones so I guess that's probably the reason for this. The other day in the car Cody goes, "mommy, I know a joke" and he does the "knock knock banana, knock knock banana, knock knock orange, orange you glad I didn't say banana" joke. Now, the amusing part of this is when delivering the punch line, (orange you glad I didn't say banana) he didn't say the word orange. Then he proceeded to tell Jeremiah that the joke worked with anything, like he could do the same thing with apple and pears and it would be just as funny. I chuckled a bit and didn't correct him, I mean, he's just starting out, who am I to crush his comedic dreams?

Jeremiah, feeling inspired by Cody's joke telling, he busts out with this little keeper: How do you make a Kleenex dance?

You put a little BOOGIE in it!! LOL! I laughed out loud. GOOD TIMES!

Cody, not to be out done goes, okay why does an A have an upside down V in it?

Me: Um...not sure, why?

Cody: Because it's POOP!!!

Me: *scratching head, confused* where did you hear that one buddy?

Cody: I made it up, just now!

Me: Um, I think the punch line needs some about why does and A have an upside down V in it?

Cody: Why?

Me: Because it's a VERY awesome letter!

Cody: *blank stare*

Me: or is that kind of stupid?

Cody: no Mom, its VERY stupid!

Well, I guess that settles it then...he's going to be good at dealing with the hecklers if he decides to pursue comedy!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

the pursuit of a smaller ass.....

So, one of my favorite foods, discovered as an adult mind you, is Chicken fried steak and country gravy. We never had this in my house because of my fathers aboration of things that are fried, and things that are swimming in gravy (the man knows how ruin the experience of a Carls Junior western bacon cheeseburger too so don't take him with you if you're wanting to clog your arteries, I'm just sayin!) I wish that I hadn't ordered that first chicken fried steak skillet at Village iInn...I can't say that convincingly even to myself, that stuff is just SO FREAKIN' GOOD!

One of the things I try to get occasionally is the chicken fried steak meal that's on special on wednesdays at KFC, for just $3.99 you get chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes, coleslaw and a biscuit. Pretty good deal right? Well, knowing that by definition chicken FRIED steak is going to be bad (in the bestest kind of way) I decided that in order to "reward" myself with this wonderful, wonderful meal, I would walk there and back with Gage (well, pushing Gage) that way, I would be doing something good to offset the bad. Good thinking right? According to Mapquest, KFC is 1.13 miles away from my house. We set out walking, it went pretty well as far as Gage being good and sitting quietly and you know, we didn't get hit by a car or anything. Other than that though the walk proved to me that I am so horrifyingly out of shape I kinda grossed myself out and pissed myself myself.

You see, last year about this time I was loving being at home with my son, I was going out wearing him in his little sling, meeting people randomly, I was going and doing, and loving life and I was also losing weight. So much so that by my birthday in february I was able to buy and wear a pair of size 9 pants...that's right, single-digit pants. Things were good. Then things were not so good. A lot of crap happened this year and I shut down. I started just kind of drifting from day to day and not really enjoying the good stuff and just kind of wading through the bad. That's probably why my blogging dropped off so much this year. I'm working on getting my head back in the game so to speak and with that comes the anger and frustration with myself for letting that kind of wallowing reverse all the good things I had done as far as getting myself in better physical shape. Needless to say, I unfortunately gained back all the weight I had lost +10 lbs. This is horribly depressing.

By the time I got to KFC (and then again on the way home) I was red-faced, sweaty, and out of breath. You'd have thought that I'd just run a race for my life. I was pathetic and sad and I had a pain in my chest, and I can't breath....oh wait that last part was from a George Lopez routine...but it was almost that bad. At that point I wanted to cry. I got over that and went and got my chicken friend steak meal anyways because damn it, I walked there, I looked like a gross sweaty pig and I earned it! Gage played with his hot dog meal, only eating the teddy grams and I ate my food, sharing half the biscuit and half the coleslaw with Gage.

As I huffed my way into the condo complex where I live I was thinking about how good it was that I at least got off the couch and did something physical that even though it was difficult, will be a small step in the right direction because I definitely need to get this ball rolling again. Not so much because I want to be skinnier, but because of the process I went through last year, I gained so much confidence in myself and my abilities and it strengthened my relationship with my husband and my children and some of my friends.

Here's to the long and difficult journey ahead of me to hopefully see single digit numbers on the inside of my pants!!


Chicken fried steak w/white peppered gravy 390 calories
Mashed potatoes 100 calories
Coleslaw 180 calories
Biscuit 180 calories
Honey sauce ?calories ( didn't have it listed)
Total Calories for the meal 850 calories
- 180 (for half the coleslaw and biscuit gage ate)
770 calories I consumed

2.26 mile walk round trip
187 calories burned

770 eaten - 187 burned = 583 calories for lunch...not too bad, especially since breakfast was a 270 calorie cup-o-noodles.

Notes to self for next time getting this meal:

1)biscuit gets the axe...sorry biscuit, you're just not 180 calories + honey calories worth of good

2) sub 30 calorie green beans for 180 calorie coleslaw

These two cuts alone bring the meal back down to a reasonable 520 calorie meal while still being delicious.

And a final note...I just realized that the honey you get at KFC is not just honey....I know...I'll give you a moment to gasp! I was shocked myself, it's okay!

The ingredients to the Colonels Honey Sauce are as follows: High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar, Honey, Corn Syrup, Natural Flavors, Carmel Coloring..... that killed the delicious honey biscuit goodness....thanks a lot KFC!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

My little bug is growing up...

Sometimes it's the little things that can make my day better. For a while I've been getting Gage the little toddler meals for lunch, usually because I don't really cook anything for myself for lunch, I just make ramen or something like that, not really healthy toddler lunch fare. Now, Gage eating these little meals either ends up with me sitting there forever to feed it to him bite by bite OR me giving him a spoon and letting him make a disaster of his face, his clothes, the high chair, etc.

The clean-up of which would typically require a bath, a wordrobe change for him and a good wipe down for me, and then me swearing on waiting on the whole eating with a spoon thing until he's older.

Today however, it finally paid off. Finally, all the days of disgusting, slimey baby culminated in this wonderful video! NO MESS!

Angels were singing a light shined on him from was GLORIOUS! Okay, maybe I'm SLIGHTLY exagerating....but man, it was a good moment to see that he can eat, with a spoon and the mess was almost non-existent. WONDERFUL! IMMD!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

The birds and the bees...and my butt

So I don't know if you have these commercials where you live, but we have ones where a bunch of different kids are looking out of the TV telling me as a parent to talk to my kids about sex. Now, being as I got pregnant very young and that my "sex education" came from books (one that my mom gave me when I was ten that explained mechanically what would happen combined with harlequin romance novels I started reading around twelve that glamorized what it would be like physically) I knew that I wanted to have open honest communication with my kids about sex as soon as they needed/wanted to know about it.

Now Jeremiah was sitting in the living room a week or so ago and that commercial came on the TV again. Jeremiah turned and looked at me and goes, "yeah mom, lets talk about sex!!"


"uh, okay, what do you want to know?" I wasn't sure what if anything he already knew. "I don't know!" he giggled and then kind of went back to what he was doing. Bullet Dodged! Right?

Okay, I think when the kids were younger we had a conversation about eggs and sperm. I'm fairly certain we hadn't discussed how the egg and sperm actually meet up and party together. I decided that I wanted to have a more in depth conversation with them but wanted some back-up. After some hard core googling I came across this book and decided that it was going to be an excellent tool to help me talk with the kids. So I went and bought the book, we looked at the pictures of the boys private parts and girls private parts both internal and external and we looked at the differences. We talked about puberty and the path of the egg and the path of the sperm.

Jeremiah freaked out a bit when he saw a cartoon drawing of the male ejaculation but settled a bit when I explained again, that nothing like that could or would happen until he went through puberty. He seemed to find it comforting to start naming all the men he knew that, based on that information, could have an ejaculation. Daddy? yep. Grandpa? yep. Pop-Pop? yep. him too. I tried to not actually think about the fact that my father and father-in-law could also ejaculate...really...but I kept a straight face and answered his inquiries with the appropriate level of seriousness. After that we got to chapter 9. What is sex?

I like this chapter because it started out with encouraging kids to look at their birth certificates and they'll see the word sex right there. I showed them my driver's license and where it says sex on there. They thought it was interesting that sex had more than one meaning and even made me laugh when they saw the cartoon of a couple engaged in sex they were like oh, that's sex? you and daddy do that!

(um, remind me to analyze that later)

Granted, it was just two people no clothes showing, Dad facing down on mom with a blanket covering them up to their shoulders so it wasn't really graphic or anything at me, I'm not trying to traumatize them or anything!

Now, that is about halfway through the book and we decided to stop there for the day. The rest of the book has chapters on love, different kinds of families, how a baby grows from an egg into a baby and even shows birth and c-sections. (the whole book is drawn by a cartoonist that makes a good mix of realistic but not freaky like a photo might be to a kid).

Later in the evening, after dinner, Jeremiah is flipping through the rest of the book, I'm reading the catcher in the rye and Cody is reading to Gage. We're all kind of hanging out, winding down for the kids bedtime and then it happens. Jeremiah walks over, holding the book open to the page that illustrates how the baby is born and he climbs up on the chair next to me and points at my crotch.

Miah: Is that where Gage came out?
Me: yeah
Miah: (looking thoughtful for a minute)
Me: why? Where did you think he came out?
Miah: (points at my butt)
Me: you thought I pooped him out!?
Miah: (just giggles and giggles)
Me: Do you understand better now?
Miah: yeah

So, apparently my work is done here for the son at least knows he didn't come into life from his mother's Bowell's

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