Hello 2009!!

Wow, a new year! My hubby and I were talking about birthdays (being as I'm turning the big TWO FIVE this year)and he's turning 26 just two weeks before me. It's funny, there were times in my life where making it to 18 was the goal and then again when turning 21 was the big goal. Now I'm looking at another milestone age, twenty-five! I surely don't feel old and it's funny because a lot of the people I spend time with are older than me. My buddy James just turned 33 on Christmas Day and my Buddy Chess turned 26. I guess the thing that made me think about was that although it is true that with age comes wisdom, I also know some people don't really need as long to gain the wisdom of having made bad decisions as other people do. I know that I've made some poor decisions and have gotten myself in reall bad situations. Things that if my parents ever knew about they would be horrified!

But haven't we all? I think there comes a time in everyone's life where suddenly you try to figure out why you feel so wrong in your head. I know that a lot of things that I used to worry about (excessively I might add) were only important to me. If the house wasn't spotless, it really didn't matter to the person who came over. If the dishes STILL needed to be washed, it was still OK! I guess that's just part of growing up. At some point you go back and question your parents, you question your morals, your ideals. For instance, why do I claim to be a christian (as I was brought up that way) when I disagree with a lot of the things in the Bible? I think a lot of the teachings in the bible made sense when it was written (ahem...THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO) but a lot of things just don't make sense in this day and age. Why hasn't a new, new testament been added? If God speaks to man and then man writes a book of good teachings then why can't God get on the ball? If there is a master plan and that is for world peace, then man, I'm surely on that wagon! I would love for people to not have huge wars in which millions of people are murdered. I just can't believe that someone is going to rot in hell for eternity for cheating on their wife or being jelous of something someone else has. I also think that if there is a God that truly wants people to be happy then he wouldn't actually require a belief in him. I don't know, it's hard to explain my ideas. I guess I tend to "over analyze" EVERTHING (just ask my hubby!) and a lot of things don't make sense to me. Things like biggotry or racisim or philosophers turning into war bringers. I think a big part of it is ignorance.

It seems like I was more blessed than I ever realized now looking back. I was an Army brat which means that my childhood was spent trapsing about the country, living off and on base and packing and repacking all my earthly possessions and moving them around the country. This had a few consequences to my emotional psychological make-up. First off, people that said they would write almost never did. People of all ages can be really smart, really stupid, really mean, or really funny, irregardless of their religous background, marital status, whether they had kids or not, rich or not, etc. I could never understand how you could become racist when there are so many different kinds of people all over the world. And there are so many resources readily available to study. There are magazines, books, websites, blogs, myspace pages...really we are so priveledged to have access to such a wide variety of un-censored press.

I know that even certain of a few basic things as previously mentioned that I've still seen pants or shoes or belts that I was afraid to buy because they were too "ethnic" looking and what would someone think? Or say? OMG....I'm LMAO right now about how stupid I was! I mean, really, if I care so much about what some stranger might mutter about my clothes and what they might think of me then really, really....that's all my problem!!! I was so lacking in the self esteem department, it was pathetic. I mean really, who doesn't buy something they like for themselves because of something someone MIGHT say! LOL!!! Oh well, I think I'm gonna go shopping and maybe try on some apple bottom jeans.... :~)